Could You Be The Illegitimate Child of Elvis or Madonna Test...Is it possible that I may be?


Are you entitled to a branch on either Madonna or Elvis's family tree?



Basics Section:
1. Why do you have reason to suspect that you may be child to either of these stars?

A. I don't
B. I want an inheritance
C. I ain't nothin but a hound dog./I'm like a virgin, touched
for the very first time.

2. Can you sing?
A. Yes
B. No

3. Do you look like either or both of the pop superstars?
A. Yes
B. No

4. If so, which one? If none, leave blank.
A. "Madonna"
B. "Elvis"
C. "Both"

5. Do you obsess over your hair?
A. Never
B. Sometimes
C. Always! How does it look??

6. Are you known in at least 3 states for your strange dancing? (either with your waist to the point where you are known as "The Pelvis" or bouncing around Madonna style)
A. No
B. Yes (lying to get a better score)
C. Yes (truthfully)

7. Do you do, or look like you do any drugs?
A. Yes
B. No

8. Do you have a record contract?
A. Yes
B. No

9. Hold up! Finish this song line! (Madonna) Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone...
A. "I thought I told you to get off the phone"
B. "I love it when you say, 'Honey, I'm home'"
C. "I hear you call my name, and it feels like home."

10. Now finish this one! (Elvis) Are you lonesome tonight? Do you miss me tonight?
A. Are you missing the children too?
B. Wasn't this song in a commercial for a soda pop?
C. Are you sorry we drifted apart?

Madonna Section
11. How many lovers did your 'mommy' have in the early 80's?
A. None (Ha! Fat chance you ignorant child you!)
B. One (Another sign of ignorance)
C. Too many to count

12. So you illegitimate child, do you forgive your mother for giving you up for adoption and never telling anyone about you? (She couldn't have you there dragging her down)
A. Yes as long as I get money for doing so.
B. No I got adopted by two school teachers and was
deprived of the lifestlye I deserved (we all know that teachers
are poor)

13. Do you even like Madonna? (her music obviously)
A. Yes
B. No

14. Which one is a Madonna song?
A. "Pimp slap me!"
B. "Like a dare"
C. "Frozen"

Elvis Section
15. Going along with the Madonna section, how many lovers did 'daddy' have?
A. None (Please! he was the 'teen heart throb' in his day.
Try again.)
B. A Few (If you pick this I am going to put your hand in a
blender)
C. More than a person should have

16. Do you like Britney Spears?
A. Yes
B. No
C. What does this have to do with anything?

17. Do you beleive Elvis is still alive?
A. Yes
B. No

18. Do you know anyone who's seen him lately?
A. Yes
B. No

Meaningless Section
19. Just pick one of the cool little circles!


Final Section
20. And Finally, do you think I am daffy?
A. No
B. Yes
C. Daffy is not the right word, insane describes you better.



I always wanted to put that on a button...don't ask me why.



Seeing as I don't think Elvis is still alive I am leaving this message for Madonna (fat chance she'll ever see this) so I dont get into legal intanglements with the wonderful woman (really! I'm not sucking up!) This is just a joke and is intended for entertainment purposes only. We all know Madonna never gave birth to any illegitimate children. Elvis on the other hand probably did.