Homeless Test...How homeless are you?


Are You Homeless and don't know it? You should take this test to find out!



1. When was the last time you shaved?

A. This morning
B. At least once in the past year
C. I don't remember

2. In general, are you dirty?
A. yes
B. no

3. If you are so homeless, do you have any STDs?
A. yes
B. no

4. If so, how many?
A. "None"
B. "Just a few"
C. "All STD's known to man."

5. Finish this sentance: If I could do anything to improve my home it would be...
A. Defrost the freezer naked with a raccoon on your shoulder
B. Install celing fans
C. Tape up the hole and look for a new box tomorrow.

6. Are you just asking for money to feed your alcoholisim?
A. No (truthfully)
B. No (lying)
C. Yes. I am going to spend the money I get on beer pot and a hooker

7. Look down. Are you wearing shoes?
A. No
B. Yes

8. Quick! Smell your armpits! Do they smell of body odor and sweat and revoulting dead animals?
A. yes
B. no

9. Hold up! When was the last time you were way out west and saw a shoot out?
A. "Huh? What does this have to do with being homeless? (I have my reasons.)"
B. "Yesterday"
C. "Shut up you moron"

10. When was the last time you had a bite?
A. At least once in the last 24 hours.
B. I am a glutonous pig and am eating as we speak.
C. I dont remember.

11. When was the last time you were bitten?
A. Never
B. Last Week
C. This afternoon

12. So you mole, do you find yourself frequently begging for money?
A. yes
B. no

13. Do you ever get any money?
A. No, they say they wish they could help me but they had no spare change and then they plugged their nose and walked off so they wouldnt have to smell my putrid odor of week old garbage anymore.
B. Yes

14. What are your favorite television programs?
A. "Unsolved Mysteries"
B. "Who wants to be a Millionare?"
C. "I have no television."

15. Do you frequently find yourself standing around wet in the rain because you have no shelter?
A. Nope
B. Sometimes
C. I am standing wet in the rain without shelter right now.

16. Do you like the dumb little boy groups?
A. Yes
B. No
C. What is a boy group?

17. Have you ever been out to sea?
A. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggg! I am a pirate ye land lubber.
B. Never

18. Do you scratch yourself frequently?
A. yes
B. no

19. Almost there, Lick yourself in anticipation!
A. "No"
B. "Ummmm....okay"
C. "Shut up you moron"

20. And Finally, Do you like to eat garbage?
A. No
B. Yes
C. Go eat some monkey dung and get off my back!